I’m sure many of us can relate to those “Freudian slip” moments. This is what is regarded as an ‘oops’ moment. A slip of the tongue and easily explained and understood. It’s those unintentional moments, that are so commonplace.

Then there are the ‘ouch’ moments when someone says something that is either derogatory, aggressive, sexist or demeaning. Whether intentional or not, these are painful and need to be addressed. Wherever possible you need to have one of those difficult conversations.

If these ‘ouches’ are left unaddressed, your life may become untenable until you do something to correct the situation.

Having one requires:

• Calming down – no emotions
• Reframing the question
• Finding the right place and time to have the conversation
• Don’t be accusatory come from “I feel…”
• Be authentic in how you communicate without insulting the other
• Look them in the eye and be authentic with your feelings
• Show vulnerability. We all know those ‘ouch’ places and you can share why it’s been hurtful for you.
• The other person may not be willing to address the issue. It doesn’t matter. You at least need to make the call to have that conversation.
• Realising conflict is a creative spark between two people that can often deepen our connections with one another.

Another ouch that can be equally painful is our mistakes and missed opportunities. Sometimes we may look back and think if only I know now what I thought I should have known then. And that’s ok… just remember it’s our ouches that make us stronger and more courageous. They might even be our biggest victories.

In your world of ‘oopses’ and ‘ouches’ all I can suggest is you look kindly at yourself and others and be forgiving of our human frailty.