Being Too Nice Can Backfire

On the surface, being nice seems like a good thing. People like you somehow always find a way to seek your help. When you are over accommodating, you may unwittingly inviting people to exploit your generosity. When you’re constantly adjusting your behaviour to make others comfortable, you silence your own voice, values and vitality.

The Role of Conditioning

This ‘too nice’  habit can often be traced back to our childhood and the messages we received as children. For instance, “don’t rock the boat.” Or “put others first.”

We say things like, “I’m sure they didn’t mean it – they’re just struggling with life.” This thinking excuses someone’s behaviour and ultimately becomes part of our inability to express ourselves and learn how to build healthy boundaries.

You don’t need to be agreeable all the time to be loved.

You don’t need to be liked by everyone to be whole.

You are allowed to take up space, say no, and honour your needs.

Being real is better than being nice.